Customer Testimonials
Don't believe us? In our world full of scams, ripoffs, and politicians that is quite understandable.
Why not earlier?

I wish they had this when I was younger. Don't wait until it is too late!

Carl L.
Hoboken, NJ. Age 146
And he told us of his life

I had a close encounter on a yellow submarine once and found myself surrounded by lonely people. I was brave back then and just put my jar face on, but these days I can rest more relaxed knowing that my policy from EternalCoverage will keep me safe in the future.

Eleanor R.
Revolver, AA-Side. Age 56
[Censored]

OK

Name Not Disclosed
Trashpanda City, IL. Age 39
Murphy

The only insurance I recommend! Live free with the no fear guarantee!

No Fears!
Seattle, WA. Age 44
You never know what will happen.

My friends and that guy Dave keep telling me that I'm in great shape, but when I lay in bed at night with my dog Charlemagne I sometimes wonder what happens if death is not the end. Luckily I listened to my butler and bought a policy from EternalCoverage! For 16 months I was worried, but now I can finally relax and enjoy the tacos!

Bruce W.
Burbank, CA. Age 83
Thanks Memaw

My granny bought the policy for me, but I am a man of science and do not believe in this kind of nonsense. Their whole website is full of pseudo-scientific affidavits but without a single, peer-reviewed source listed anywhere. Their repeated comments about novelty also scared me off, so I decided to request a refund. To my surprised I received an email just 296 days later when I was approved for a full refund in exchange for a lunch.
I didn't imagine anyone to actually show up, but the owner of the company personally showed up! He was quite friendly (and exceedingly handsome if I may say so) and didn't seem at all fazed by the fact that I wore my best gorilla costume. He immediately gave me back the $6.99 my granny had paid and all I had to do was buy him lunch! Best $19.99 I ever spent!

Billy B.
Hickory, NC. Age 29
Avast Ye Mateys! A Swashbuckling Review!

Ahoy me hearties! Let me tell ye about this fine insurance policy I recently acquired. It be as valuable as a chest full of gold doubloons! This policy be like a trusty compass, guiding me through the treacherous seas of undeath. It provides me with the assurance that should misfortune strike, I'll not be left high and dry like a beached whale. The terms and conditions be fair and just, and the premium be well worth the peace of mind it brings. This policy be me life raft in stormy waters, and I'd rather walk the plank than be without it. So hoist the Jolly Roger and set sail with confidence, for with this insurance policy on board, we can face any challenge that comes our way!

Cap'n Insurancio, the Buccaneer of Secure Seas
The rugged shores of Tortuga, Age 5